More like Doug

th-2A friend of ours who is in heaven now, made the following observations in the latter stages of terminal cancer. She and Marti developed a deep relationship via email that sustained them both through a lot even though they never met in person. One thing she shared with Marti was her love and care for roses. We now have roses in our backyard because of Kay, and I know Marti talks to her often back there.

She also kept her dry sense of humor through most of her ordeal. “Okay, I have lung cancer,” she once wrote, “but I can deal with that. Oops, swollen lymph nodes… okay, can deal with that. Six spots on ribs – both sides – well that took several days, but I am dealing with it. Maybe I can live 15 years on chemo. I learned recently of a person with home chemo: You just hook up a fanny pack I.V. and do it yourself.”

This is where we learn to laugh and cry at the same time.

Kay was always a great one for hard questions and she never held anything back. She always spoke her mind. “Here’s a question for you today,” she once wrote: “How come there are so many darn good people out there who don’t know Jesus?” This question plays havoc with the popular notion that all Christians are good people and all non-Christians are bad.

“A friend drove three hours to pray with me wearing a Beatles ‘Let It Be’ T-shirt for my amusement. I have often questioned negative Christians; our joy should be full. I never want to be less than joyful; I want to be crazy and creative like my friend in the Beatles T-shirt.”

And then she wrote, “I am most touched by my heathen friends. Here’s a question to chew on: ‘Where does their power to love come from? I mean, we Christians have trouble serving and we have a source! Twice this week my gay friend, Doug, an outspoken non-Christian, has pulled up in a heated SUV at 5:30 a.m. to drive me for tests (and that is but one story). Where does his power to serve come from?'”

I needed this lesson from Kay’s gay friend today because I have not been a giving person. (I almost typed “lately” right there and then stopped myself because “for as far back as I can remember” would be more like it). I want to be more like Doug.

The truth of the matter is: we are all good people, and we are all bad people, and that is precisely why we all need Jesus.

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10 Responses to More like Doug

  1. Lisa in Sunland says:

    What a great question Kay presented about locating the source of “power to serve”! I really noticed this when my husband was hit by a truck while a pedestrian just before Thanksgiving years ago. Our non-churchgoing friend “babysat” him many days while I worked. Our gay neighbor on the corner put up our Christmas lights. Friends and acquaintances who don’t profess Christ came through for us and served more than our church. I guess even if we don’t have answers, that’s at least a hard left hook into any “we” might be “better” than “they” assumptions!

  2. Ron Jones says:

    God uses both good and bad to teach and glorify his name. Accordingly, we learn of people in the bible that God used to express this very point. Also, judgment is not for us; Only God can do that.
    The Bible does lay out the boundaries of God’s righteousness and what he expects of us. So the issue becomes not so much if our actions are “good” but more if we acknowledge we need Jesus while realizing we all fall short of the law. What troubles me is the new mob consensus of what is moral and good and the logic that because no one is perfect, then there should be some kind of endorsement of the new cultural standard of morality even if it flaunts God’s word. I personally don’t think God has changed his word or his mind, but that’s just my opinion.

  3. JJ says:

    Hmmmm, I have always assumed that everyone’s love is from God as he is love.

    • Ron Jones says:

      True, but Jesus also pointed out you can’t love this world and really love him when he said, ” If you love me, obey my commandments.” John 14:15
      Also in Deuteronomy 30:20 it states, “You can make this choice by loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and committing yourself firmly to him.”
      I think God puts a desire for us to search for God in all of our hearts and I also think each of us knows the difference between what is right or wrong, but like Paul, we don’t always make the right choices. Again, that’s why we need Jesus.

    • Mark Seguin says:

      i’ll say, great assumtion!

  4. I have said often that I wish my Christian friends were as nice as my non-christian friends.
    Most the time that is not true.
    Christians (generally speaking) get all hung up on really stupid stuff that those outside the religious arena don’t even think about.
    Playing cards was a sin unless it was rook or old maid. Some churches still teach that.
    My parents were chastised because they exchanged rings at their wedding.
    I had some kid try to get my son to destroy all his “non-christian” CD’s and when I was a teen people found the devil in everything from the Eagles to Larry Norman.
    Christians are the last to accept they are wrong and use the Bible as their proof making them look like morons. (Earth is 6000 years old)
    The bible is not a science book or a empirical study on human sexuality yet we use this book to self righteously condemn others.
    It’s no wonder those outside christian faith are loving and serve others. They haven’t been taught who to condemn.
    That’s what makes the Catch community a little different, the focus is less in the sins of others and more on the love for others. Less on what separates us from others and more on what we have in common.
    Some of the best people I know ride motorcycles, have tat’s and drink moonshine. I’m not saying we should all start drinking moonshine but we can begin to love others without an agenda. We could love others just because it the right thing to do. (And I’d like wine instead of grape juice for communion)

    • Ron Jones says:

      Jesus didn’t take us out of this world but he expects us to live in it. That said, he also said we are to be the “salt” of the world and what he meant by that, I think, is we should counteract the moral decay in society. Tolerance of the mob consensus morality popularized by today’s media and secular culture seeks to redefine the guidelines and definition of God’s character. God hasn’t changed even though our culture would have you think so. The bible is transparent about God’s definition of what is right and wrong. Just because “nice” people do “nice’ things does not mean they are righteous. Yes, I have several friends that match the descriptions you delineated, but using them as our standard for what God wants and expects is just wrong. I try to live my life as I’d want my Father to expect me to, but I never succeed…but I know that if I repent Jesus has paid for my stupidity and my rebellion, BUT I have to recognize who Jesus is and act accordingly. Certain behavior and lifestyles are overt mockery of what Jesus wants from us. You can’t be neutral. Matthew 12:30 explains what Jesus said about this attitude of tolerance, indifference, or neutrality.
      Study your bible. It is good for the soul.

    • Mark Seguin says:

      I really liked this and about stood-up and cheered over it: “That’s what makes the Catch community a little different, the focus is less in the sins of others and more on the love for others. Less on what separates us from others and more on what we have in common.”
      and like to add an Amen to this brillant point: “We could love others just because it the right thing to do.” 🙂

      • Ron Jones says:

        Independent thinking is one of the keys to the Catch community. I guess we should all love one another and if you’re expression of love is different than mine, then I just need to remember to be tolerant and accepting of your expression of love. After all it is love that unites us all, right? Even if your love is of a kind that is not approved by my beliefs, we should be loving and accepting of these INDEPENDENT BELIEFS. Isn’t that right? I mean, after all we need to focus on love for others more, right?

        Actually, I find this to be a subtle form of idolatry and we are defining God in our own terms. Yes, I share my heart with others, but not at the expense of endorsing lifestyles that mock the commandments of my God.

  5. Mark Seguin says:

    Many thx 4 sharing your point(s) Ron Jones, appreciate it and you… I simply dont agree w/ you, but i can agree to disagree… 🙂

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