It all started last week when Marti saw a Godvine video about changing a woman’s inner voices from low self-esteem to messages of worth and value. Marti was so moved by what some simple encouragement and appreciation could do in a woman’s life, she got an idea. Why not challenge the men in our community to change their wives’ inner voices by making a simple video of themselves praising their wives — turning their wives’ smart phones into “mirrors” that will give back positive messages of worth and affirmation. When she put the challenge to social media it was enthusiastically received, going viral in no time. Thousands of people liked the challenge; the only problem was that no one did anything about it, including me. No one took the challenge.
Apparently everyone loves the idea (mostly women, I would guess) but no one wants to do it (mostly men). What the matter guys? Are our arms too short for a selfie? Are we camera shy? Is it hard for a guy to hold up a smart phone and talk into it, or is the hard part publicly affirming your wife? Are our arms too short to bless our wives? I decided to find out by doing this myself, and it wasn’t easy. It took several attempts before I got something I could use — something I wouldn’t mind her, or you, seeing.
Why is this so hard?
Is it because my affirmation will be suspicious since she lives with me and I don’t do this all the time? Is it because I don’t know what to say? Is it because it shows up what I’ve not been doing?
For instance, I’ve found out that it’s universally hard for men to pray with their wives. I wonder if it’s the same answer — our wives know us so well, we can’t fool them with some kind of fake spirituality. To be in front of the Lord and your wife at the same time is scary business. No more of those half-hearted muttering prayers that go on in your head and drift off into nothingness. This is right here and now. This is God and your wife you’re in front of. You can’t fool either. You might think you can fool God, but that’s only in your mind. When you pray before your wife you find out where you’re really at as far as God is concerned.
Maybe that’s the value of Marti’s ideas here. Certainly it is to benefit the women, but it’s also going to force some level of honesty into our relationships. There is a certain transparency required when going before the Lord in the company of someone who knows you so well. Maybe we could render 2 Corinthians 3 this way: “When a man turns to the Lord (in front of his wife) the veil is taken away.”
If I’m anywhere close, this is serious, and requires some action on the part of the men in our community. The kingdom of God begins with us, and our closest relationships. It has to first work here if it’s going to also work out in the world. I’m going to reissue this challenge, if only for the benefit of our marriages. I’m not asking you to send us your video, unless, of course, you want to. But a comment that you did it would be great. Just use it between the two of you as a means of altering those inner voices, and an opportunity to turn towards the Lord. Bye, bye veil!
Click here to see the result of my attempts at a video for Marti.
Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. (Proverbs 31:28)