Through each other’s eyes

slide #8Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other’s eyes for an instant?  – Henry David Thoreau

How much greater is the miracle that Mr. Thoreau was referring to when one considers that, during the instant of looking through someone else’s eyes, we are not looking through our own? The miracle is getting a break from ourselves — something we all need — some more than others. Believe me, the people around me would love to have a break from me, too.

Marti does this well. She’s always looking through the eyes of others. Me, I am more likely to epitomize the Bette Midler line from the movie, Beaches, “But enough about me; let’s talk about you. What do you think of me?”

Accordingly, Marti says I have a tendency to fill up a room — and most conversations — with myself. At least that’s what she says. I wouldn’t know because I’m so comfortable talking about me that I don’t notice we’re not talking about anyone else. It seems quite natural, true and right to be talking and thinking about me. It’s what I do. If I’m thinking about me, I’m sure you must be too.

Now I could say this is just one of the curses of being a performer (I’m writing this for my benefit, now), but that would be a cop-out. I can get out of myself just as easily as the next guy; the question is, Do I want to?

It’s like a friend of mine (who, incidentally, happens to be a performer, too), said in a hospital room when his wife, who was in labor, complained about being too cold, “Why? I’m not cold.”

Actually, it’s not the curse of being a performer, it’s the curse of being me. But there I go again, talking about me.

Lately, my neighbor has been giving me a run for my money. She’s the one who fell recently and has been requiring our assistance much more than usual. She’s a spinster who has lived by herself for 84 years; you can imagine she’s pretty used to her own company. Though she is known and appreciated in our town for years of selfless service in the community, at home, she’s pretty set in her ways.

Which explains the ridiculousness of us butting heads two days ago over the proper use of the remotes for her TV. She has a system that requires her to use both remotes every time she wants to turn her television on or off. Well, I thought I would simplify her life by showing her there was a way to set it up so she only needed one. Problem is, when I tried to show her this, she started insisting, very stubbornly, that she needed two. Suddenly, we lost the point of which way was easier, and it became an issue of who was right. That’s when I should have backed off and looked through her eyes, if only for an instant, and realized I was doing her a big disservice by insisting on being right. So I win this argument. By the next morning, when she wants to watch “Good Morning America,” she’ll probably be so disoriented over her remote controls that she won’t be able to turn her TV on at all.

As it turned out, I won the argument and felt awful. Her life is much simpler at this stage doing what she knows how to do, even if it takes an extra step. Had I looked through her eyes I would have understood that, and understood her better.

This is a small issue, but a big point. It takes a relationship to introduce the Gospel of Welcome, but I can’t have a relationship if I insist on being right all the time and looking only through my own eyes.

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10 Responses to Through each other’s eyes

  1. Cynthia Vera says:

    Wow! We are twins! You explained the battle I am in against myself, that if I win, it will be a sad day in Texas. My new husband is not feeling well and I thought for sure since I am so compassionate I could bring him back to good health. He is now asking for another nicer nurse! ( just kidding)
    The great news is every second Christ can reveal and then send powerful assistance. I love it when when we are forced in a good way to share what happens when our mask comes off.
    Thank you for sharing.. Oh, and give Marti a hug! Cynthia

  2. TimC says:

    Please forgive me for bringing up Toby Keith, “I wanna talk about me”.
    That song totally cracks me up. If you’ve been living under a rock and haven’t heard it, search it up and read the lyrics.

    • martifischer says:

      I wanna talk about me
      Wanna talk about I
      Wanna talk about number one
      Oh my me my
      What I think, what I like, what I know, what I want, what I see
      I like talking about you, usually, but occasionally
      I wanna talk about me
      I wanna talk about me

  3. KaT H. says:

    ALANON saying: Would you rather be RIGHT or would you rather be HAPPY?! Tough one for me, too!

  4. Peter Leenheer says:

    Mark 10:45 says, “For even the Son of Man came not to be ministered unto but to minister, and to give His life in a ransom for many.” .

    Just recently used a quote from a Catch post that said, we should love people into the kingdom of God, in my youth group devotion and built a devotion around it. The kids usually clap to show appreciation for the thoughts shared. For me they did not clap. I was somewhat put out. Then later that evening I remembered that in the past I had come to be ministered unto (ie. it was about me, not about the word of God. My prayer then was that people would not clap because it would inflate my ego, and steal the Holy Spirit’s glory because he had touched the hearts and I was just the messenger. The sad realization was that I love being the one who is 100% right and God answered my prayer. God’s answer made me pout. Wow, that made me sit up like a ramrod.

    Loving people into the Kingdom was readily accepted by the group. One of the boys whose teammate on the school volleyball team had been banned from the team for bad behavior, drugs, alcohol, etc.. The young man prayed that night for the teammate to reach his full potential and repent. He decided to talk to this young man, and tell him what a great person he was and how his behavior was destructive. He would intimate that he spoke to him one on one because he cared for him and hated to see him derail. Now that is loving people into the kingdom!.

    John, Marti you want to see the Gospel of Welcome practiced…..well the Holy Spirit is at work in a small group in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. How cool is that.!

    PS. Your devotional thoughts are used frequently and fed to a gospel hungry youth group. I love to see them devour the Word.

    • martifischer says:

      Wow! I love your heart and your understamding that you are who God created! It makes me smile from ear to ear that the Holy Spirit is alive and well Edmonton, Alberta, Canada and working through you! Hurray!
      Did I applaud? Yes I did! Anyone dedicated to people under 25 will always have my standing ovation! Applause! Applause!

    • jwfisch says:

      So encouraging to hear you putting the Catch to use! Love it!

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