Of hats and head-butts

Why is John wearing a hat?

Why is John wearing a hat?

I’ve taken to wearing hats a lot because I keep banging my head on things, and a hat hides my wounds and scars. I don’t know what it is about me, but my head keeps getting in the way, and since I’m quite bald, as well as wearing my hair pretty short these days, every bang and every bung shows up.

We have a very small house — Marti calls it a Hobbit house — and there are places you have to remember to duck, like going into the cellar under the house, and also under the garage, and then there’s crawling around in the attic, which I will be doing soon the get the Christmas boxes down. Every December I sport a Christmas bang from that. You’d think by now I’d remember to duck, but not so. I’m walking around, thinking about something else, and “Bang!” there I go again.

Then there are those times it’s not my fault, like last night when I bent down to pick up my backpack in the low-lit restroom of a local coffee house and banged my head on the electrical utility box that protruded from the wall, but was covered up with a dark curtain. Ouch! Whenever your head meets an immovable object, there will be consequences. The head always loses.

Is it senility, or just plain stupidity, that keeps me among the walking wounded? I’m not sure. I don’t remember this always being the case. But I’ve come to the conclusion that humility will be what I choose to get out of it. Imagine trying to be cool with a big hole in your forehead people can’t help but look at as they talk to you. Imagine going to an important, high-level meeting with a gouge across the side of your head where you scraped it on a branch while working in the yard two days ago? Imagine standing up in a pulpit, about to deliver the sermon of your life, and right smack dab in the middle of your forehead, like the third eye of a cyclops, is big scab where you fell asleep at your desk the night before, and head-butted your computer keyboard.

That should help keep you humble, human and realizing the stuff that you are made of is fragile and dependent on the presence of God in you to truly offer anything of value to anyone else.

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7 Responses to Of hats and head-butts

  1. johnhaak says:

    I relate. I think Paul relates. He had some kind of physical defect. If there was a Tarsus Tigers team he would have worn their hat if it would have helped. And Paul wanted to change that defect but clearly heard, “no”. Paul concluded, like you I think, that it kept him focused on God’s grace always being enough. Thanks for the good truth to launch my day.

  2. I feel your pain bro. I been a head banger for many many years.

  3. Andrew P. says:

    Any time I work outside, say in the garage, I’ll always cut or bump myself somehow, someway, often on the head, but the hands are even more common. In my case, though, when my wife asks how I did that, I more often than not don’t even remember. (I’m more likely to recall the source of the head wounds than the hand wounds.) I guess it’s just so normal that I barely notice – not enough to remember the incident!

    And I have a little more hair than you do, but most everything still shows through! So like Mike, I feel your pain.

  4. peter leenheer says:

    In the first week in November I was doing some pruning. Fully aware that my hat’s visor blocks all vision of looming branches, I still hit my head on a hard birch tree branch. Two silver dollar size scabs formed after the bloodletting. The pain of the scrapes, despite the buffer of the baseball cap, left me yelling at the top of my lungs. Fortunately human ears were distant! The pain was up close and personal. Today I have two visible red spots on my bald head. In the past the air would be blue with inappropriate language, but not anymore. I had to come to grips with my own stupidity, and as John so aptly put …that is humbling. In addition, dining at fine restaurants will inevitably leave me with an extremely obvious spill on my shirt or pants. When I get super efficient, have both hands full and walk out the door, my belt loop hooks on the screen door handle and everything falls on the ground. I turn to look who is pulling me from behind as if that helps.

    John , you reminded me that to expect this to change is not going to happen so I must accept it. In humility I will from now on put my baseball cap on backwards, wear a bib while dining out, and make three trips instead of one. I will also do a lot of praying because my humility in all of this is mandatory and my pride while injured must be the sacrificial lamb.

    Honestly, John, to see you banging your head as described above left me laughing out loud, I will also laugh at myself. So when you bang your head think of me and laugh, because I probably am doing the same thing a thousand miles away. The most humbling in all of this is my wife’s laughter. She seldom laughs at my jokes, but laughs herself into a tearful state when I do my unplanned head banging physical comedy.

  5. Bare Plowman says:

    Could always be worse John. At least you’re not a …. Hard Headed Woman. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cf8IYBqtPeY

  6. Bare Plowman says:

    Tim, I was not aware of this tune. Nor was I aware that anyone would actually seek out such a woman!! : )

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