‘Dear Dad, I forgive you. Happy Father’s Day.’

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Here’s one of the greatest things you can do for your dad on Father’s Day … forgive him. And if your dad is no longer alive, it’s the greatest thing you can do for yourself.

For just about every child growing up into adulthood, there comes a time when Dad goes from being Super Hero to Super Jerk. That’s because all dads are fallible. We are all broken in some way, and part of growing up with a human father is a process of finding that out. What we do with that information is the key to either getting healthy or perpetuating the same issues. It’s what the Bible calls visiting the sins of the fathers on future generations. But it does not have to be.

Harboring hatred and resentment is a trap. It’s been proven true over and over again: you become what you hate; abuse begets abuse. Forgiveness is the only way to break the cycle.

My own father was distant. I never really knew him. Silence is the word that goes along with him most in my mind. He was there, but his body just took up space. I rarely knew what he was thinking, and almost never knew what he was feeling. Now I see the same tendencies in myself. It’s as if he was engulfed by “the nothing” and it’s long dark tentacles are reaching for me.

It’s been suggested that we all write letters to our fathers expressing love and forgiveness. Write it and then keep it. It’s not a letter for him anyway; it’s for us. It’s a letter to set us free.

What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” – Luke 11:11-13

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3 Responses to ‘Dear Dad, I forgive you. Happy Father’s Day.’

  1. Mark Seguin says:

    Dear Pastor John I didn’t send this Catch out either on Facebook or Twitter, becauz it doesn’t contain an ability to listen to it, which you seemingly forgot as u have before. So therefore, can u plz, pretty plz learn how develop a system 4 yourself before you send out a Catch. Becauz no-one I’ll repeat no-one remembers everything all the time, so coming up w/ a system to remind you might help. 🙂
    PS along w/ a few times I’ve ask u can u plz consider telling / contacting someone that might help w/ this: 4 months now even though i click the boxes the 2 boxes to be notified of new comments via email – it doesn’t work… Along w/ can u plz consider doing yourself a favor and think about reading Dr. Robert Rohm DISC method of understand personalities. It may, it just may help u to understand your dad, which will help u too.. 🙂

    • jwfisch says:

      Well Mark, what can I say? It’s my whole point today: I’m fallible. I proved it! As to a system that will prevent human error? I’ll have to check that out. Thanks for pointing out my mistake.

  2. Colleen Thake says:

    Great post John! I love my dad, but was also disappointed by him. I expected him to be my hero when my mother left him and needed help, however, it was an impossible task. My stepfather was never a father/dad to me, but maybe to my younger sister. The only thanks I give is mainly to my Heavenly father who graciously adopted me. At best I can only guess what a father should be. I feel for my son, because his father is much like yours; here, but absent. I’m not sure what is worse, having one that is absent and worthless or having one that is present and worthless! Inspite of it all I wish you the best Father’s day, because you have been an ever force in your children’s lives, my hats off to you 🙂

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