I’m right; You’re wrong; So what?

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Like we said on Tuesday of this week, being right is overrated.

I wonder how many relationships have been sacrificed at the altar of being right. What is it that makes us do this? Is it our natural competitiveness — (we just can’t resist a good fight?) Is it a diversion away from a more important issue that remains unsettled? Is it an issue of pride? Whatever it is it can be harmful. And if being right is harmful, admitting you are wrong can heal a relationship because of — you guessed it: its vulnerability.

Just a couple of days ago, I was involved in an argument with my wife over an issue of no great consequence. It may have not been any great consequence, but it was suddenly of more consequence than the thing we were really talking about at the time that did have importance. All I know is that I didn’t want to let it go for anything, because I knew I was right. That was suddenly the only thing that mattered — as if some sacred principle would be violated if I didn’t prove I was right.

Why? Why did it matter so much? I think it was my pride that mattered.

God wants people who love Him with a pure heart and want others to be touched by His grace, not people who are right all the time. Who cares? The Pharisees were right all the time — at least they thought they were — and look where that got them. In Jesus’ eyes that got them nowhere.

Often being right can crush the other person. Don’t let that happen. Don’t let it go that far. We’re trying to build bridges here, remember? The best way to save a relationship its to be willing to admit you were wrong. And even if you are right, Play it down. Change the subject. Winning isn’t important; connecting is.

My wife recently said she couldn’t remember when the last time was that I admitted I was wrong. That’s not good. If you can’t remember the last time you admitted you were wrong, that probably means that being right is too important to you.

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One Response to I’m right; You’re wrong; So what?

  1. Markus says:

    Not every argument is worth it, but some are and it takes wisdom to differentiate between them.

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