Step One: AA Meeting Downstairs

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Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

I have an addictive personality.

I am addicted to sin. I do not have to work at sinning. It comes pretty easily. I can do it without thinking. Certain ones seem to come up again and again, but fortunately they are quiet sins and I can conceal them well so no one gets hurt.

I am addicted to doing what I want to do. I can’t help it. I can have four or five tasks waiting which call for reasonable, responsible action (stuff everybody has to learn to do — it’s part of life) and I will pick the easiest one first until my time is all used up on that one and the other things will have to wait for another day. I am addicted to procrastination.

I am addicted to a comfortable feeling. It’s a soft, selfish place inside that I will protect at great cost to even those who are close to me. My soft spot is non-confrontation and avoidance, and I protect it ruthlessly.

I am addicted to isolation. I crawl into a “man cave” deep inside where you can’t find me. Oh, I may be here in person, but then again, I’m not here. I come out in ministry because I love God and I know He has gifted me with certain gifts that need me out of my isolation in order to function, but as soon as I am done with using my gift, just try and find me. Good luck. I’ve already checked out and into my cave.

I am addicted to my way of thinking. I am fiercely convinced about my opinions and convictions. I will listen politely to yours, but I won’t seriously consider them because I know I am right.

I have an addictive personality, but as long as I hold onto these things I am addicted to, I can manage my life. However lately I’ve noticed something. I’ve noticed it’s harder and harder to keep everything in order. I’ve got so many rationalizations and denials going on, it’s getting harder to keep track of them all. It’s getting harder to maintain that comfort zone I cherish so much. As long as I hang out with people who know the rules of non-confrontation, I should be just fine.

I have an addictive personality, but as you can see, I’m able to manage it pretty well (at least up until now). I may be addictive but I’m not an alcoholic. I hardly ever have more than one beer or one glass of wine. That’s just never been a problem for me. In fact, I hate that feeling of not being in control. That’s why I’m up here worshiping God with the normal people. We’ve got our addictions under control up here. And as long as no one digs too deeply into anybody’s life, we’ll be just fine, not like those powerless people downstairs. Praise the Lord.

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6 Responses to Step One: AA Meeting Downstairs

  1. Mark D Seguin says:

    Loved Today’s catch, because I cud relate to a lot of it. Also, I can easily understand Pastor John being married to gorgeous Marti can be a bit of a challenge @ times, because she, like me as no problem with confrontation as you expressed here you do… So yet once again I’ll suggest if you truly wud like some help w/ that . Consider reading Dr. Robert Rohm’s good book about The DISC Method of Understand Personalities… 🙂 ❤

  2. Glenda says:

    Easy for you to say because unfortunately I’m one of those powerless people downstairs because I am a functioning alcoholic who happens to love God and prays to Him regularly. I know I’m part of the great unwashed.

  3. Jesus Aguilar says:

    Glenda; my name is Jesus Aguilar and like you have the disease of alcoholism, but unlike you, I think of myself blessed, we have the twelve steps we have a fellowship and we have a solution to live wonderfully, praising and giving thanks to our Lord and Savior, for his grace we have been saved from the grip of alcohol and now we are free.
    Our friend describes himself as an addict and of course I can identify with his sharing but he does not have what you and I have. People that he can share all of his character defects, he isolates and that is exactly what satan wants,satan wants us alone where we are vulnerable to the attacks and we fall. This is the reason that so many of us fail to stay sober we isolate.Blessings

  4. jwfisch says:

    Glenda and Jesus: Don’t you think that my addictions are as serious as yours, and maybe even more so in some ways because they are so hidden? My whole point with this writing was to show that the people upstairs are just powerless as the people downstairs and that’s why we all must depend totally on God.

    • Jesus Aguilar says:

      Oh! absolutely. Only if the whole world could see the true, we are living in denial of the
      Real Life, the life in Christ and we go on living denying to ourselves the Kingdom of God and accepting the world offerings. Such a success, only to the cost of stepping over others so we can get there, hiding our ambitions and greed, by declaring that we looking for comfort. I personally believe that you suffer quietly more than many others and encourages me to work harder and walk with my Lord every day so others can see and may do the same. May your suffering bring you closer to God, and may you offer comfort and help to others. I am grateful that you shared and most grateful to God that I can read.
      May God richly bless you

  5. Teresa Johnson says:

    So true! Thank you! Don’t you just love how He has ALWAYS known us and has unconditionally loved and accepted us? But we must believe in, and know Him, by acknowledging Him back because of our need to be forgiven from our sins through Jesus who died in our place, which He patiently awaits! Though I have known Him many of my years, I have similar struggles, my own addictions. I can be easy to be deceived, miss or ignore the short comings that the Lord wants to work out in me. I am praying that we will be open so that He may address these things in each of us. No one is more Just. We have a True friend in Jesus, now and forever! Amen.

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